I go to a lot of coffee shops. I'm not sure why. I think it's peaceful to surround yourself with people that are too busy to socialize with you. It's a quiet peace you find when you're around people that don't want to talk to you. It's a condolence to know that they're not noticing you. You blend into a background.
I moved in with Sam.
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"Hey man."
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I think ultimately, writing calms me down. A lot of days it feels like I keep setting my cruise control 10 miles over the speed limit. That constant dissonance irritates. I know I'm going too fast, but I can't slow down. Writing turns off my cruise control. It allows me to stop and see the world. It allows me to stop and see myself. It allows me to stop and be happy.
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"Because I'm happy. Clap along if you feel..."
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It's been 36 days since Jerad's funeral, and everything seems the same.
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"they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time"
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I wonder when Jerad is going to die a second time.
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