life doesn't have an audience.

I recently found out a professor in my program is sleeping with a student. He's married with kids.

Shortly after, I learned an employee in my program was hit on by a married man during a business trip.

Pretty bad, right?

-------------------------

"Who knows why people do what they do"

-------------------------

I'm going to hope no one on my Lawrence Ultimate Summer League reads my blog, and say what I'm about to say.

We have someone on our team named Beau. He has a girlfriend, whom we met last week. She has a broken arm, and can't play with us this summer.

We also met her friend, a newcomer to the team that has never played ultimate before. He was Swedish, handsome, and clearly friends with Beau's girlfriend. They spoke Swedish together.

As the game went on, I began to feel Beau's antagonistic behavior towards this guy. By the end of the game it was clear Beau did not want him there.

In Beau's defense, they were speaking Swedish to each other, the second sexiest language known to man, before whatever language Chewbacca speaks.

So fast-forward to today, and I see Beau's girlfriend and this Swedish guy hanging out with another friend. They were in a fountain together.

I spent the rest of today imagining the movie that this is. A young, attractive couple playing ultimate frisbee together. Trying to make it to the championship game and win the gold. Their relationship torn apart by this new, attractive man bound to her through this mysterious romance. Their relationship crumbles before the championship game, and all hope for the team is lost. Just minutes before the game, the couple realizes the beauty of their faults, find a love unmatched, and the team reunites, bonded by a strength that takes them to victory.

There would need to be a comedian on the team, for comic relief. With zany one-liners that turns the "drama" into a "dramedy". It'll get a bigger audience.

There also needs to be a secondary storyline with another team member. The compelling, tragic story of a young black man struggling to make it in today's society. He hopes to use ultimate as a way to get into college, and free himself from the stranglehold of his crime-riddled neighborhood.  Forced to work under the shady drug dealer, this character eventually ending up in handcuffs and losing someone close to him. He finds future success in his sport, and rids this drug dealer's grip on his neighborhood in the process. This story line will mainly be Oscar bait, but it'll include a younger, up and coming actor.

The girlfriend's broken arm a face value metaphor for their struggling relationship. Held together through the couple's bandages, but the pain always persisting. Nothing but band-aids on bullet wounds. Her looking for relief, but only finding more heartbreak.

But how does that movie end? The Swedish guy confesses his love for her, and the girlfriend realizes Beau was the one all along? How does Beau come back from that? The damage is done.

Why does the Swedish guy not get a chance? Because he's not the main character? How do we know Beau belongs with her? Why would our biased opinion make Beau the better boyfriend?

But who am I to judge. Why is any of this my business?

It's not.

Because real life isn't like the movies. Things don't happen to maximize the emotional tug of the audience.

Real life doesn't have an audience. No one watches you. No one cares.

Above all else, we do things to find happiness. We all want to be happy, and we don't care how we look when we do it.

Because at the end of the day when you're alone in bed staring at your ceiling, no one is staring back.

So maybe we're all allowed to find happiness, without the threat of an audience's perception.

-Ryan